








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2135 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,471 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2627 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1792 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1890 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2162 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $887,463 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 653 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mackey | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | nuke npc | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | sicko | 57% | 188 |
| #4 | listen to your heart | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mackey | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | nuke npc | 60% | 40 |
| #3 | sicko | 57% | 188 |
| #4 | listen to your heart | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicko | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | nuke npc | 6 | 0.0074 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sicko | 776 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Mackey | 109 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #3 | nuke npc | 68 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | listen to your heart | 11 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mackey | +3.36 | 78 | 72 |
| #2 | sicko | +1.92 | 83 | 67 |
| #3 | nox | -0.71 | 93 | 64 |
| #4 | listen to your heart | -1.71 | 67 | 38 |
| #5 | nuke npc | -2.27 | 68 | 42 |





