








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1614 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,989 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 558 | 19% |
| Smokes | 566 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1321 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 544 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,262 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ headshot hooligan ★ | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Bjork | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | icky Boa | 53% | 100 |
| #4 | 1992 brick house | 53% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ headshot hooligan ★ | 73% | 15 |
| #2 | Bjork | 58% | 12 |
| #3 | icky Boa | 53% | 100 |
| #4 | 1992 brick house | 53% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1992 brick house | 31 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | icky Boa | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | ★ headshot hooligan ★ | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1992 brick house | 375 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | icky Boa | 95 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | ★ headshot hooligan ★ | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bjork | 26 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ headshot hooligan ★ | +4.05 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | Bjork | +2.68 | 71 | 58 |
| #3 | 1992 brick house | +2.48 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | icky Boa | -0.54 | 59 | 44 |
| #5 | Large Ring | -1.84 | 51 | 43 |





