








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 305 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
526 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,859 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 332 | 18% |
| Smokes | 467 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 455 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 605 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $233,088 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Amis rööki suu 010 | 72% | 25 |
| #2 | FASTESTSWIMMER112 | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | Juysonn | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | ɢᴇᴛᴢɪ | 50% | 36 |
| #5 | Sime | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sime | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | 致幻劑持續性知覺障礙 | 44% | 9 |
| #7 | attivi-iwnl- | 43% | 7 |
| #8 | miksum | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | ter1 | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sime | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ɢᴇᴛᴢɪ | 102 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | Juysonn | 80 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | miksum | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | attivi-iwnl- | 41 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #5 | Amis rööki suu 010 | 36 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Juysonn | +2.37 | 63 | 67 |
| #2 | ɢᴇᴛᴢɪ | +1.76 | 73 | 62 |
| #3 | Mato | +1.15 | 68 | 68 |
| #4 | Amis rööki suu 010 | +0.24 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | 致幻劑持續性知覺障礙 | +0.22 | 28 | 59 |





