








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 116 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 715 | 17% |
| Smokes | 890 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1792 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 868 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $501,751 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 327 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tikzilla | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | Ōnoki of Both Scales | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Rabbit | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Ripmyprofilepicture | 37% | 132 |
| #5 | King Julien | 36% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Rabbit | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | Ripmyprofilepicture | 37% | 132 |
| #5 | King Julien | 36% | 64 |
| #6 | Helen Keller Driving School | 35% | 37 |
| #7 | tikodizz | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Julien | 14 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | Ripmyprofilepicture | 10 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | tikzilla | 8 | 0.0243 |
| #4 | Helen Keller Driving School | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Rabbit | 4 | 0.0100 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King Julien | 283 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ripmyprofilepicture | 245 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Helen Keller Driving School | 131 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Rabbit | 62 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | tikzilla | 27 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tikzilla | +9.46 | 67 | 38 |
| #2 | Helen Keller Driving School | +6.24 | 96 | 56 |
| #3 | tikodizz | +4.29 | 40 | 52 |
| #4 | Rabbit | -0.71 | 40 | 51 |
| #5 | King Julien | -1.38 | 28 | 64 |





