








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 308 | 24% |
| Smokes | 271 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 367 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 325 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $89,318 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hyp.cs_ | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Dipro3475 | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | TrostXGrost | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | ❤️| 𝗻𝗶𝗿𝘃𝗮𝗻 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | R4S3C | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | TrostXGrost | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | ❤️| 𝗻𝗶𝗿𝘃𝗮𝗻 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | R4S3C | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | nep | 25% | 4 |
| #7 | gon | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrostXGrost | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Dipro3475 | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | hyp.cs_ | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | gon | 1 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | nep | 1 | 0.0133 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrostXGrost | 189 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | Dipro3475 | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | hyp.cs_ | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | gon | 27 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #5 | R4S3C | 20 | 0.31 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4S3C | +7.05 | 64 | 78 |
| #2 | ❤️| 𝗻𝗶𝗿𝘃𝗮𝗻 | +3.91 | 77 | 56 |
| #3 | Dipro3475 | +2.53 | 90 | 56 |
| #4 | nep | +1.80 | 94 | 39 |
| #5 | gon | +0.55 | 67 | 67 |





