








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 667 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 254 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 108 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,396 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2497 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3556 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3392 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2951 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,513,612 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1ki | 66% | 29 |
| #2 | MakkeK | 54% | 68 |
| #3 | Madsenator | 53% | 30 |
| #4 | flexm | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Bito | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Drojd | 50% | 54 |
| #8 | Shhhh | 42% | 24 |
| #9 | NamNam | 41% | 51 |
| #10 | |T B A| | 38% | 26 |
| #11 | Maffe | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NamNam | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Bito | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | MakkeK | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | m1ki | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MakkeK | 171 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #2 | |T B A| | 164 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #3 | Johnsen | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Bito | 96 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Madsenator | 80 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnsen | +2.14 | 59 | 71 |
| #2 | Madsenator | +1.99 | 93 | 65 |
| #3 | MakkeK | +1.91 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | |T B A| | +1.70 | 76 | 83 |
| #5 | m1ki | +1.65 | 83 | 67 |





