








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 601 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6138 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,405 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7447 | 32% |
| Smokes | 7060 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3910 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4988 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,284,909 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 575 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeqon | 52% | 170 |
| #2 | ᴴᵒʷˡʸ ^ᵛ^ | 52% | 291 |
| #3 | Zaykaria | 46% | 106 |
| #4 | zoqzh | 44% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeqon | 52% | 170 |
| #2 | ᴴᵒʷˡʸ ^ᵛ^ | 52% | 291 |
| #3 | Zaykaria | 46% | 106 |
| #4 | zoqzh | 44% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴴᵒʷˡʸ ^ᵛ^ | 18 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Zeqon | 12 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Zaykaria | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | zoqzh | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeqon | 798 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | ᴴᵒʷˡʸ ^ᵛ^ | 668 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Zaykaria | 398 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | zoqzh | 396 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaykaria | +1.44 | 72 | 61 |
| #2 | EntiTy | +0.70 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | ᴴᵒʷˡʸ ^ᵛ^ | -0.58 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | Zeqon | -0.74 | 51 | 71 |
| #5 | zoqzh | -1.69 | 60 | 57 |





