








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 133 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2153 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3317 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1857 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2564 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,518,994 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKronic | 73% | 33 |
| #2 | Burgh | 59% | 299 |
| #3 | Adopted Cake | 58% | 76 |
| #4 | m4artin | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Vapor | 57% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | m4artin | 57% | 68 |
| #5 | Vapor | 57% | 169 |
| #6 | Bowler | 56% | 64 |
| #7 | fdoud | 56% | 163 |
| #8 | Ubba | 40% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burgh | 46 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | fdoud | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Adopted Cake | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | JKronic | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Bowler | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Burgh | 1054 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #2 | fdoud | 713 | 0.21 | 25 min |
| #3 | Vapor | 672 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | Adopted Cake | 227 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | m4artin | 219 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JKronic | +4.04 | 95 | 65 |
| #2 | Burgh | +2.24 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Vapor | +1.71 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | fdoud | +1.16 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | m4artin | +0.40 | 86 | 63 |





