








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3512 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3886 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2576 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 5% |
| Molotovs | 2039 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $571,696 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squidgge | 49% | 156 |
| #2 | The Stins | 48% | 141 |
| #3 | Hobbit | 46% | 149 |
| #4 | Step-Dad Steven | 45% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squidgge | 49% | 156 |
| #2 | The Stins | 48% | 141 |
| #3 | Hobbit | 46% | 149 |
| #4 | Step-Dad Steven | 45% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobbit | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | The Stins | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Squidgge | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Step-Dad Steven | 2 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Step-Dad Steven | 567 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | The Stins | 220 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Squidgge | 171 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hobbit | 110 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yung Gravy | +3.59 | 66 | 69 |
| #2 | Squidgge | +0.63 | 44 | 56 |
| #3 | Hobbit | -2.10 | 52 | 46 |
| #4 | The Stins | -3.21 | 39 | 45 |
| #5 | Step-Dad Steven | -3.54 | 12 | 60 |





