








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1021 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5423 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4998 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3747 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3847 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $307,384 of utility $44 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Strone | 44% | 18 |
| #8 | Vange Lorhaut | 43% | 23 |
| #9 | -seijin | 43% | 23 |
| #10 | >>HEADDIE POTTER | 41% | 22 |
| #11 | Riktor doc.R.edition | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LαVιZҽ -idfc- | 12 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | fabigissi97 | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Vange Lorhaut | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | Strought | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LαVιZҽ -idfc- | 498 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪ REM1337 ♡ | 282 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Strought | 115 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Vange Lorhaut | 67 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Riktor doc.R.edition | 59 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LαVιZҽ -idfc- | +2.07 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Strone | +1.29 | 62 | 60 |
| #3 | SiLeX -D- | +1.12 | 68 | 77 |
| #4 | Vange Lorhaut | +0.61 | 57 | 71 |
| #5 | Strought | +0.46 | 73 | 62 |





