








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1836 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1912 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1345 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 552 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 1001 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $554,971 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 171 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | < blank > | 50% | 10 |
| #2 | 💖MR. Carl 那我走? | 47% | 15 |
| #3 | Dreammeh | 44% | 9 |
| #4 | ares | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Orange Panda | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | ares | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Orange Panda | 39% | 23 |
| #6 | TehPenG | 27% | 11 |
| #7 | WeeWOoWeEwOp | 22% | 9 |
| #8 | nerd | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TehPenG | 3 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | < blank > | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ares | 103 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #2 | Orange Panda | 76 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | 💖MR. Carl 那我走? | 71 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dreammeh | 56 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| #5 | TehPenG | 48 | 0.24 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ares | +1.94 | 73 | 59 |
| #2 | < blank > | +1.34 | 86 | 35 |
| #3 | ice // 信じる | +1.24 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | Orange Panda | +1.13 | 80 | 68 |
| #5 | TehPenG | +0.93 | 80 | 54 |





