








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 498 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1112 | 35% |
| Smokes | 777 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 833 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,182,088 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am not dyslexic | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | Cyph | 47% | 156 |
| #3 | xiao | 45% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I am not dyslexic | 48% | 77 |
| #2 | Cyph | 47% | 156 |
| #3 | xiao | 45% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xiao | 27 | 0.0132 |
| #2 | Cyph | 19 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | I am not dyslexic | 7 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyph | 547 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #2 | xiao | 425 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | I am not dyslexic | 151 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xiao | +2.06 | 68 | 47 |
| #2 | I am not dyslexic | +1.09 | 63 | 39 |
| #3 | Cyph | -0.84 | 28 | 52 |
| #4 | yaboithickness | -1.61 | 22 | 23 |





