








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1203 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1596 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 81 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 65,595 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21225 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3670 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 22630 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 18070 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,319 of utility $31 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 30 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awesome | 54% | 125 |
| #2 | ♛KILLUMINATI♛ | 53% | 148 |
| #3 | NutellaHoden | 47% | 164 |
| #4 | [BUMZUA]#PisseR#[AuT] | 46% | 579 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | awesome | 54% | 125 |
| #2 | ♛KILLUMINATI♛ | 53% | 148 |
| #3 | NutellaHoden | 47% | 164 |
| #4 | [BUMZUA]#PisseR#[AuT] | 46% | 579 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [BUMZUA]#PisseR#[AuT] | 43 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | awesome | 29 | 0.0112 |
| #3 | ♛KILLUMINATI♛ | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | NutellaHoden | 3 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [BUMZUA]#PisseR#[AuT] | 1649 | 0.14 | 43 min |
| #2 | awesome | 816 | 0.32 | 20 min |
| #3 | ♛KILLUMINATI♛ | 219 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | NutellaHoden | 46 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NutellaHoden | +4.83 | 69 | 29 |
| #2 | awesome | +4.77 | 56 | 64 |
| #3 | ♛KILLUMINATI♛ | +2.54 | 44 | 42 |
| #4 | [BUMZUA]#PisseR#[AuT] | -0.23 | 31 | 52 |
| #5 | #B-o-B︻芫=一 | -1.10 | 25 | 59 |





