








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Faceit | 139 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3958 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2699 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2254 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2333 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1830 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,344,299 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unbelievably washed | 60% | 113 |
| #2 | timmy | 53% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unbelievably washed | 60% | 113 |
| #2 | timmy | 53% | 131 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timmy | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | unbelievably washed | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timmy | 356 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #2 | unbelievably washed | 207 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | timmy | +1.78 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | 0wen | -0.21 | 71 | 57 |
| #3 | unbelievably washed | -0.33 | 75 | 61 |





