










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5224 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,717 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3699 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2528 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 2627 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3863 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,734,156 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1031 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mbob | 59% | 94 |
| #2 | tapzotapzo | 50% | 34 |
| #3 | gocu | 50% | 125 |
| #4 | Haired Elige | 49% | 247 |
| #5 | ้้
่ดค | 46% | 213 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | gocu | 50% | 125 |
| #4 | Haired Elige | 49% | 247 |
| #5 | ้้
่ดค | 46% | 213 |
| #6 | John Quit | 43% | 37 |
| #7 | mayan | 39% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ้้
่ดค | 11 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | gocu | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Mbob | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Haired Elige | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | tapzotapzo | 3 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ้้
่ดค | 730 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #2 | Haired Elige | 650 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Mbob | 630 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #4 | gocu | 611 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #5 | mayan | 133 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tapzotapzo | +3.52 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | gocu | +2.35 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | ้้
่ดค | +1.47 | 81 | 69 |
| #4 | Mbob | +0.98 | 81 | 65 |
| #5 | mayan | +0.44 | 72 | 61 |





