








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1801 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,962 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 854 | 29% |
| Smokes | 537 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1011 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 560 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $422,177 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hawk242 | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | badger | 88% | 8 |
| #3 | Stewie4k | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | Dogwater | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Canadian Invader Jogpreet 🍁 | 55% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dogwater | 71 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #2 | Canadian Invader Jogpreet 🍁 | 63 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | badger | 19 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stewie4k | 14 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | chad | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | badger | +2.87 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | Dogwater | +1.35 | 58 | 45 |
| #3 | Kaneki | +0.93 | 73 | 49 |
| #4 | Stewie4k | +0.89 | 59 | 46 |
| #5 | Hawk242 | +0.61 | 66 | 39 |





