








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 200 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3567 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,850 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2836 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3093 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1404 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 517 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $743,043 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shark fin soup | 59% | 41 |
| #2 | kommade | 58% | 36 |
| #3 | ユエ | 58% | 50 |
| #4 | myangelarisa | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Donburi | 55% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donburi | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | ユエ | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | shark fin soup | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | kommade | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | myangelarisa | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | shark fin soup | 230 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| #2 | Donburi | 168 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #3 | myangelarisa | 135 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | ユエ | 132 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | kommade | 108 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | myangelarisa | +3.70 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | Donburi | +1.93 | 79 | 47 |
| #3 | Aris (Maid) | +0.92 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | ユエ | -0.39 | 78 | 50 |
| #5 | shark fin soup | -0.50 | 41 | 76 |





