










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 610 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 129 matches | ||
| Esplay | 7 matches | 2,322 | |
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3504 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,357 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3710 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4310 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2162 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3175 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,359 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 582 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boombl4 | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | baaaz | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | donk | 70% | 145 |
| #4 | zweih | 69% | 36 |
| #5 | <3rajahspice | 64% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | zweih | 69% | 36 |
| #5 | <3rajahspice | 64% | 22 |
| #6 | S1ren | 63% | 16 |
| #7 | ArtFr0st | 62% | 82 |
| #8 | cutting veins | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zweih | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ArtFr0st | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | baaaz | 1 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Boombl4 | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donk | 355 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | ArtFr0st | 280 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | cutting veins | 116 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #4 | zweih | 89 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Boombl4 | 77 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donk | +6.21 | 97 | 60 |
| #2 | Magnojez | +2.92 | 88 | 79 |
| #3 | baaaz | +2.90 | 89 | 49 |
| #4 | ArtFr0st | +2.01 | 97 | 65 |
| #5 | <3rajahspice | +1.56 | 90 | 67 |





