








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 437 | 16% |
| Smokes | 550 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 675 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1155 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $181,358 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibworg | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | minkydink | 58% | 31 |
| #3 | BlothHrafn | 58% | 52 |
| #4 | Guramannen | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Pranten | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlothHrafn | 6 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Reke | 5 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Guramannen | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | minkydink | 3 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Drammenzern | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibworg | +3.52 | 57 | 66 |
| #2 | MR Retardo | +3.11 | 59 | 34 |
| #3 | minkydink | +2.04 | 64 | 52 |
| #4 | BlothHrafn | +0.77 | 53 | 41 |
| #5 | Keiins | +0.34 | 53 | 48 |





