








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 776 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4411 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6156 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5244 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4445 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4841 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $592,062 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 301 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Interior like fish eggs | 51% | 184 |
| #2 | teej | 49% | 235 |
| #3 | Feet Connoisseur | 48% | 165 |
| #4 | Isaac Moriah | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | CrackingZebrah | 22% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Interior like fish eggs | 51% | 184 |
| #2 | teej | 49% | 235 |
| #3 | Feet Connoisseur | 48% | 165 |
| #4 | Isaac Moriah | 42% | 113 |
| #5 | CrackingZebrah | 22% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feet Connoisseur | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | teej | 12 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Interior like fish eggs | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Isaac Moriah | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feet Connoisseur | 1205 | 0.35 | 29 min |
| #2 | Interior like fish eggs | 902 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #3 | teej | 642 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | Isaac Moriah | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | CrackingZebrah | 90 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blutbod | +3.62 | 68 | 66 |
| #2 | teej | +0.49 | 73 | 56 |
| #3 | Interior like fish eggs | -1.69 | 32 | 63 |
| #4 | CrackingZebrah | -1.94 | 44 | 53 |
| #5 | Isaac Moriah | -2.62 | 63 | 43 |





