








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,408 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3114 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2625 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3240 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2429 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,216 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandels | 56% | 180 |
| #2 | Jj | 55% | 261 |
| #3 | Santzis | 53% | 165 |
| #4 | Jaba | 52% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sandels | 56% | 180 |
| #2 | Jj | 55% | 261 |
| #3 | Santzis | 53% | 165 |
| #4 | Jaba | 52% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jj | 21 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Santzis | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Sandels | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Jaba | 7 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jj | 478 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jaba | 437 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sandels | 379 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #4 | Santzis | 282 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Santzis | +2.34 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | Jaba | +1.15 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Framed | +0.82 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Jj | -0.49 | 67 | 59 |
| #5 | Sandels | -1.20 | 56 | 75 |





