








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 945 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4176 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3450 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2739 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3670 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,366,814 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1532 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrQ | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | Play For Drops | 60% | 63 |
| #3 | bicik | 59% | 54 |
| #4 | ShaNZyi | 59% | 162 |
| #5 | nok ツ | 57% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaNZyi | 33 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | ZZZ | 16 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Play For Drops | 12 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | bombel | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | nrc | 9 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShaNZyi | 611 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | nrc | 606 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | czito | 410 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | lamciak | 355 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #5 | nok ツ | 349 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Play For Drops | +1.94 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | bicik | +1.58 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | dn1ex | +1.56 | 85 | 52 |
| #4 | ZZZ | +1.54 | 84 | 56 |
| #5 | ShaNZyi | +1.26 | 71 | 74 |





