








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 677 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4712 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6563 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6418 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6253 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,040,285 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 632 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [MeNTaLiST] | 47% | 175 |
| #2 | Mortem | 47% | 174 |
| #3 | IRONHIDE | 44% | 194 |
| #4 | $π
»π
°ππ
Άπ
·ππ
΄R | 42% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [MeNTaLiST] | 47% | 175 |
| #2 | Mortem | 47% | 174 |
| #3 | IRONHIDE | 44% | 194 |
| #4 | $π
»π
°ππ
Άπ
·ππ
΄R | 42% | 241 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $π
»π
°ππ
Άπ
·ππ
΄R | 14 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | IRONHIDE | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | [MeNTaLiST] | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Mortem | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | $π
»π
°ππ
Άπ
·ππ
΄R | 553 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #2 | [MeNTaLiST] | 411 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | IRONHIDE | 325 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Mortem | 184 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mortem | +3.04 | 67 | 62 |
| #2 | [GaBbAr] | +0.20 | 48 | 64 |
| #3 | IRONHIDE | -1.07 | 35 | 69 |
| #4 | $π
»π
°ππ
Άπ
·ππ
΄R | -1.64 | 29 | 60 |
| #5 | [MeNTaLiST] | -3.48 | 15 | 61 |





