








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1788 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1233 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 867 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 576 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $45,326 of utility $21 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luboslav | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | CookieLord | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | Vor_Gi | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | Shizuko! | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | lexbawi2 | 55% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | lexbawi2 | 55% | 38 |
| #6 | OneGGdk | 51% | 35 |
| #7 | excluuuu excluuuu | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | selkord | 46% | 41 |
| #9 | Nerdsuu | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shizuko! | 11 | 0.0458 |
| #2 | excluuuu excluuuu | 8 | 0.0351 |
| #3 | Nerdsuu | 6 | 0.0135 |
| #4 | Luboslav | 3 | 0.0286 |
| #5 | selkord | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lexbawi2 | 131 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shizuko! | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Vor_Gi | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Luboslav | 25 | 0.24 | 0 min |
| #5 | OneGGdk | 18 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shizuko! | +5.67 | 59 | 56 |
| #2 | excluuuu excluuuu | +3.00 | 72 | 20 |
| #3 | Vor_Gi | +1.89 | 40 | 47 |
| #4 | CookieLord | +1.41 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | bob | +0.57 | 22 | 58 |





