








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,189 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2466 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2428 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1868 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1427 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,216,339 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 142 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kradz 7 | 60% | 20 |
| #2 | HolsT | 59% | 68 |
| #3 | Horan | 53% | 36 |
| #4 | ✰ Dunsen ✰ | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | PaPaSkov | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | KeuerP | 41% | 109 |
| #10 | ((3400)) gQgleren | 41% | 17 |
| #11 | 我为奸 | 41% | 22 |
| #12 | InnoLicious | 40% | 114 |
| #13 | N1c0 | 38% | 21 |





