








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 388 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,865 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 658 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1535 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1933 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 739 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $573,079 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 379 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wan-Ander | 50% | 20 |
| #2 | Håkon | 46% | 280 |
| #3 | Senjatrollet | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | Grandmaster Smoke | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | KingE | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Håkon | 46% | 280 |
| #3 | Senjatrollet | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | Grandmaster Smoke | 39% | 28 |
| #5 | KingE | 37% | 19 |
| #6 | pewpew | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Håkon | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Wan-Ander | 3 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Senjatrollet | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Grandmaster Smoke | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Håkon | 425 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Grandmaster Smoke | 70 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wan-Ander | 53 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | pewpew | 45 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Senjatrollet | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Håkon | +3.20 | 73 | 63 |
| #2 | pewpew | +2.99 | 71 | 52 |
| #3 | Grandmaster Smoke | +1.50 | 27 | 60 |
| #4 | Wan-Ander | +0.44 | 21 | 57 |
| #5 | Senjatrollet | -2.15 | 42 | 43 |





