








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 705 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 441 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,400 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3511 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4358 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3598 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3933 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,911,683 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5002 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metro | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | toastyX3C | 54% | 236 |
| #3 | ᵐᶦᶫᵏᵞ | 52% | 97 |
| #4 | ✪ Noodle | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metro | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | toastyX3C | 54% | 236 |
| #3 | ᵐᶦᶫᵏᵞ | 52% | 97 |
| #4 | ✪ Noodle | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | toastyX3C | 15 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Metro | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ✪ Noodle | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | ᵐᶦᶫᵏᵞ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metro | 462 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #2 | ᵐᶦᶫᵏᵞ | 349 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | toastyX3C | 260 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | ✪ Noodle | 144 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metro | +2.14 | 73 | 56 |
| #2 | Frost | +0.72 | 72 | 48 |
| #3 | ✪ Noodle | +0.35 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | ᵐᶦᶫᵏᵞ | -0.11 | 60 | 72 |
| #5 | toastyX3C | -0.21 | 71 | 43 |





