








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 968 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1068 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13854 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 43,977 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12702 | 29% |
| Smokes | 12368 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 9190 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 9717 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,000,140 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 993 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phooN666 | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | HaVoK | 56% | 108 |
| #3 | AlesterNoobie#Road to GN! | 56% | 143 |
| #4 | lol | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | Fugitive | 50% | 266 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | HaVoK | 56% | 108 |
| #3 | AlesterNoobie#Road to GN! | 56% | 143 |
| #4 | lol | 53% | 81 |
| #5 | Fugitive | 50% | 266 |
| #6 | lone | 49% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fugitive | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | HaVoK | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | lone | 3 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | lol | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | phooN666 | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fugitive | 669 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | lone | 453 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #3 | AlesterNoobie#Road to GN! | 338 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | lol | 296 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #5 | phooN666 | 274 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HaVoK | +3.90 | 90 | 71 |
| #2 | phooN666 | +1.61 | 67 | 59 |
| #3 | AlesterNoobie#Road to GN! | +1.22 | 78 | 58 |
| #4 | _k1ll_sw1Tch_ | +0.60 | 83 | 62 |
| #5 | lone | +0.10 | 84 | 56 |





