








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3996 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 233 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 114 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 134 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




207 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
20057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 60,311 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21397 | 35% |
| Smokes | 14972 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11507 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 12435 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,540,075 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6501 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cymatics | 63% | 150 |
| #2 | Soynkai | 62% | 152 |
| #3 | Meow91130 | 62% | 172 |
| #4 | -Raccoon Merchant | 60% | 126 |
| #5 | WidZ | 60% | 625 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | berserk | 1167 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #2 | WidZ | 756 | 0.06 | 18 min |
| #3 | Sith | 682 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #4 | Meow91130 | 681 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #5 | Linnet | 595 | 0.26 | 11 min |





