








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1027 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Wingman | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8790 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4646 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5884 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2681 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3767 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,450,032 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 756 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albert II | +2.25 | 61 | 50 |
| #2 | XiBot | +1.18 | 31 | 43 |
| #3 | illusion | +0.88 | 51 | 60 |
| #4 | Ebi the Clown | -0.21 | 28 | 45 |
| #5 | Zeppy the Clown | -0.62 | 30 | 63 |





