








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 683 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3883 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2546 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2021 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2235 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,171,511 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freakbob | 63% | 93 |
| #2 | LordAvisa | 55% | 65 |
| #3 | Dr. Pedro | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freakbob | 63% | 93 |
| #2 | LordAvisa | 55% | 65 |
| #3 | Dr. Pedro | 55% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Freakbob | 17 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | LordAvisa | 9 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Dr. Pedro | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LordAvisa | 172 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #2 | Freakbob | 145 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #3 | Dr. Pedro | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waffle Man. Man of Waffles. | +3.79 | 84 | 56 |
| #2 | Dr. Pedro | -0.68 | 59 | 52 |
| #3 | LordAvisa | -2.43 | 57 | 48 |
| #4 | Freakbob | -2.59 | 52 | 30 |





