








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 345 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 97 matches | ||
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1270 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1572 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1604 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1762 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,024 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BeastLeor | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | franoo | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | Bua | 65% | 34 |
| #4 | jak | 63% | 27 |
| #5 | Incipiens | 62% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Mantissa | 57% | 14 |
| #9 | Biotic | 57% | 14 |
| #10 | retsol | 55% | 20 |
| #11 | DodFather | 50% | 14 |
| #12 | Electro | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | jak | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | Bua | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Incipiens | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Mantissa | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bua | 178 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #2 | Noname | 163 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mantissa | 51 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | jak | 42 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Incipiens | 35 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | franoo | +2.87 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | Bua | +2.67 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | Mantissa | +1.76 | 54 | 73 |
| #4 | Incipiens | +1.70 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | Noname | +1.22 | 75 | 67 |





