








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 146 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
815 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 725 | 27% |
| Smokes | 547 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 785 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 632 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,680 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | feni | 57% | 37 |
| #2 | kkrxdd | 55% | 11 |
| #3 | Sebafra | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | Carmelo | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | :?>)) | 48% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sebafra | 49% | 71 |
| #4 | Carmelo | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | :?>)) | 48% | 75 |
| #6 | Zaufaj w proces | 48% | 61 |
| #7 | Pieuu | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaufaj w proces | 19 | 0.0154 |
| #2 | Sebafra | 13 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | :?>)) | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | feni | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Carmelo | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zaufaj w proces | 265 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | :?>)) | 227 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | Sebafra | 159 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Carmelo | 128 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #5 | kkrxdd | 58 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carmelo | +2.93 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | :?>)) | +1.30 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | boczek | +0.74 | 70 | 58 |
| #4 | kkrxdd | +0.47 | 72 | 59 |
| #5 | feni | +0.01 | 61 | 57 |





