








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 862 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3237 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5419 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 2821 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2770 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,366,596 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Golden Gino | 54% | 80 |
| #2 | keckles | 49% | 277 |
| #3 | Futuure | 49% | 134 |
| #4 | Stinger | 47% | 138 |
| #5 | dscott | 46% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Futuure | 49% | 134 |
| #4 | Stinger | 47% | 138 |
| #5 | dscott | 46% | 35 |
| #6 | JeneralGared | 41% | 78 |
| #7 | housleyman | 37% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keckles | 15 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Futuure | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Golden Gino | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Stinger | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | housleyman | 5 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | keckles | 292 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #2 | Futuure | 278 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Golden Gino | 213 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | housleyman | 169 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Stinger | 119 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tako | +1.86 | 83 | 62 |
| #2 | keckles | +0.46 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | Golden Gino | +0.07 | 68 | 65 |
| #4 | Stinger | -0.20 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | Futuure | -0.22 | 77 | 54 |





