








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 245 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,247 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2176 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1363 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1224 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1484 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $672,720 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kuahana | 57% | 131 |
| #6 | Master Shifu | 56% | 135 |
| #7 | exotic | 55% | 99 |
| #8 | Pamo | 52% | 21 |
| #9 | quick | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Shifu | 28 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Bluely | 26 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | exotic | 17 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | Kuahana | 8 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Tvrkz | 8 | 0.0260 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bluely | 561 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #2 | exotic | 500 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #3 | Kuahana | 399 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #4 | Master Shifu | 340 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | quick | 91 | 0.18 | 2 min |





