








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 288 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5325 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4555 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4681 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2861 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4107 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,120,324 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | *chariNite.~ | 55% | 112 |
| #3 | Timmy Dreher | 53% | 280 |
| #4 | cxddie | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | RiseUp | 47% | 36 |
| #6 | FallObst gGmbH® | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Timmy Dreher | 48 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | *chariNite.~ | 12 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | FallObst gGmbH® | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | RiseUp | 2 | 0.0026 |





