








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
443 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 504 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 204 | 40% |
| Smokes | 9 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 133 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 158 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,109 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iso | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | bantsy | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Dungeon Master | 67% | 3 |
| #4 | Apollo_Outcast | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | Heinous Ronald | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apollo_Outcast | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Schwixz | 1 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Dungeon Master | 1 | 0.0149 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iso | +2.53 | 92 | 44 |
| #2 | Apollo_Outcast | +1.41 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | Dungeon Master | +1.41 | 30 | 27 |
| #4 | Schwixz | +0.90 | 66 | 55 |
| #5 | Unknown | -0.00 | 62 | 47 |





