










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 3 different maps



Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
48 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 31 | 26% |
| Smokes | 37 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 31 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 21 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,400 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (PARREIRA) | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Abyss | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Laiyon | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (PARREIRA) | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Abyss | 44% | 9 |
| #3 | Laiyon | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Laiyon | 19 | 0.30 | 1 min |
| #2 | Abyss | 12 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | (PARREIRA) | 7 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (PARREIRA) | +2.28 | 63 | 54 |
| #2 | Abyss | +0.91 | 85 | 60 |
| #3 | 1Up_13Down | -5.61 | 65 | 40 |
| #4 | Laiyon | -6.55 | 29 | 54 |





