








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 337 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 579 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1477 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 902 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 412 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $288,017 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 161 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whinto | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Colt | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Bbqdaddy | 41% | 41 |
| #4 | CINDERBLOCK JOHNSON | 40% | 53 |
| #5 | DRAF73R | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whinto | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Colt | 57% | 7 |
| #3 | Bbqdaddy | 41% | 41 |
| #4 | CINDERBLOCK JOHNSON | 40% | 53 |
| #5 | DRAF73R | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CINDERBLOCK JOHNSON | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Colt | 1 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CINDERBLOCK JOHNSON | 44 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #2 | DRAF73R | 20 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Colt | 15 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bbqdaddy | 11 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | whinto | 3 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colt | +3.41 | 50 | 27 |
| #2 | Ms. Tolbert's fine ass | +2.41 | 46 | 52 |
| #3 | CINDERBLOCK JOHNSON | -1.09 | 34 | 47 |
| #4 | DRAF73R | -1.57 | 21 | 66 |
| #5 | whinto | -1.75 | 16 | 27 |





