








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 375 matches | ||
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3514 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,090 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 975 | 9% |
| Smokes | 3362 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3773 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 2980 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,121,540 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 42 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Feedbert | 50% | 30 |
| #2 | Chromenides | 46% | 92 |
| #3 | Sükrü | 45% | 55 |
| #4 | saftmann | 45% | 174 |
| #5 | Eli-811 ♛♛♛ | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Sükrü | 45% | 55 |
| #4 | saftmann | 45% | 174 |
| #5 | Eli-811 ♛♛♛ | 40% | 50 |
| #6 | chosen | 38% | 117 |
| #7 | Snickaaas | 33% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saftmann | 30 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | chosen | 22 | 0.0093 |
| #3 | Snickaaas | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Sükrü | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Feedbert | 2 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | saftmann | 482 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #2 | chosen | 384 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Chromenides | 234 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Feedbert | 168 | 0.30 | 5 min |
| #5 | Snickaaas | 121 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chromenides | +4.75 | 80 | 62 |
| #2 | Feedbert | +4.75 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | chosen | +4.01 | 76 | 65 |
| #4 | Sükrü | +1.55 | 78 | 45 |
| #5 | saftmann | +0.16 | 73 | 57 |





