








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
591 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 157 | 21% |
| Smokes | 124 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 250 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 217 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $30,487 of utility $16 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rat-Prophetist Fordism | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | celeritas | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Ling Gan Goo | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rat-Prophetist Fordism | 40% | 5 |
| #2 | celeritas | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | Ling Gan Goo | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | celeritas | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #2 | Ling Gan Goo | 7 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Rat-Prophetist Fordism | 3 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ling Gan Goo | +6.27 | 42 | 60 |
| #2 | milo | -0.40 | 32 | 25 |
| #3 | Rat-Prophetist Fordism | -0.88 | 25 | 27 |
| #4 | celeritas | -7.16 | 44 | 50 |





