








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 733 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 597 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




90 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10080 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2053 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5179 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4133 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3815 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,308,488 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaero | 52% | 115 |
| #2 | Cake | 49% | 181 |
| #3 | Dammu | 49% | 207 |
| #4 | assassinX | 49% | 222 |
| #5 | Astral | 48% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dammu | 765 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #2 | Cake | 544 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #3 | hapu | 377 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | assassinX | 315 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Kaero | 298 | 0.13 | 7 min |





