








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 30 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 789 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 345 | 44% |
| Smokes | 206 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 59 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 179 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $179,132 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axxylotl! | 38% | 13 |
| #2 | gay wizard | 36% | 45 |
| #3 | jaga | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | axxylotl! | 38% | 13 |
| #2 | gay wizard | 36% | 45 |
| #3 | jaga | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gay wizard | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | axxylotl! | 1 | 0.0044 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gay wizard | 61 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #2 | axxylotl! | 15 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | jaga | 3 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jaga | +6.75 | 57 | 44 |
| #2 | gay wizard | +1.13 | 79 | 27 |
| #3 | axxylotl! | -0.15 | 92 | 27 |
| #4 | aids | -4.36 | 54 | 40 |





