










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
867 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 363 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1126 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 546 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 333 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $146,991 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEPSI β MAN | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | Fatalmoment | 47% | 159 |
| #3 | Blunt | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | SxyPnts | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | bUdder | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Fatalmoment | 47% | 159 |
| #3 | Blunt | 43% | 46 |
| #4 | SxyPnts | 43% | 14 |
| #5 | bUdder | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | πΊγγ©γ³γΉγγ§γ | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fatalmoment | 38 | 0.0134 |
| #2 | Blunt | 12 | 0.0126 |
| #3 | πΊγγ©γ³γΉγγ§γ | 9 | 0.0352 |
| #4 | PEPSI β MAN | 4 | 0.0184 |
| #5 | bUdder | 3 | 0.0148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blunt | 216 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | Fatalmoment | 147 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | bUdder | 29 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | PEPSI β MAN | 28 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | πΊγγ©γ³γΉγγ§γ | 15 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | πΊγγ©γ³γΉγγ§γ | +3.53 | 72 | 56 |
| #2 | PEPSI β MAN | +2.85 | 88 | 49 |
| #3 | Fatalmoment | +2.11 | 72 | 28 |
| #4 | Blunt | +0.89 | 52 | 53 |
| #5 | SxyPnts | -0.50 | 52 | 16 |





