








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 715 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,305 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2473 | 57% |
| Smokes | 924 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 628 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,347,551 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 403 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | zolvoxx | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | cryllo | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Ouppy want a bone | 38% | 32 |
| #6 | yuuri | 34% | 44 |
| #7 | elis | 29% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cryllo | 25 | 0.0458 |
| #2 | yuuri | 14 | 0.0164 |
| #3 | elis | 9 | 0.0197 |
| #4 | crayon ⸜(。˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝ | 7 | 0.0147 |
| #5 | zolvoxx | 6 | 0.0153 |





