










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 63 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 28 matches | 1,563 | |
| Wingman | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
361 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,288 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 297 | 23% |
| Smokes | 300 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 402 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 289 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,420 of utility $277 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobokon | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | De_Allan | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | De_Str0mberg | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Wentworth Miller | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | TJACK NORRIS | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bobokon | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | De_Allan | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | De_Str0mberg | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Wentworth Miller | 49% | 45 |
| #5 | TJACK NORRIS | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wentworth Miller | 4 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wentworth Miller | 103 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | De_Allan | 61 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | bobokon | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | De_Str0mberg | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | TJACK NORRIS | 3 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wentworth Miller | +3.50 | 73 | 54 |
| #2 | De_Str0mberg | +0.77 | 90 | 65 |
| #3 | bobokon | +0.18 | 50 | 71 |
| #4 | De_Allan | +0.12 | 41 | 74 |
| #5 | Zeynax | -1.79 | 60 | 51 |





