








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 263 matches | ||
| Premier | 225 matches | ||
| Wingman | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7029 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,442 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4632 | 22% |
| Smokes | 6552 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4114 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 6144 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,203,444 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 839 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asphyxia - - - - - - - - - | 59% | 103 |
| #2 | MemeBeam | 59% | 227 |
| #3 | SERGZ | 57% | 361 |
| #4 | Jimmeh | 57% | 502 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asphyxia - - - - - - - - - | 59% | 103 |
| #2 | MemeBeam | 59% | 227 |
| #3 | SERGZ | 57% | 361 |
| #4 | Jimmeh | 57% | 502 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmeh | 35 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | SERGZ | 27 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | MemeBeam | 18 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | asphyxia - - - - - - - - - | 12 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jimmeh | 999 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #2 | MemeBeam | 689 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #3 | SERGZ | 589 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #4 | asphyxia - - - - - - - - - | 107 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SERGZ | +3.22 | 94 | 46 |
| #2 | MemeBeam | +1.83 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | asphyxia - - - - - - - - - | +1.54 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | Jimmeh | +0.56 | 82 | 45 |
| #5 | sk_ | +0.27 | 82 | 52 |





