








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,680 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3800 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2705 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1904 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $563,403 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urho | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | Janski | 52% | 86 |
| #3 | knsta | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Urho | 55% | 56 |
| #2 | Janski | 52% | 86 |
| #3 | knsta | 31% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | knsta | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Janski | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Urho | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janski | 315 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #2 | Urho | 146 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | knsta | 55 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Janski | +2.42 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Urho | +1.74 | 71 | 61 |
| #3 | knsta | +1.63 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | Tomskuッ | -0.66 | 60 | 57 |





