








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 177 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,679 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4469 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4251 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3390 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3569 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $810,217 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 333 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Husqiy | 61% | 31 |
| #2 | ShiftPeekAwp | 57% | 115 |
| #3 | Riff Raff | 50% | 82 |
| #4 | k0ntrast | 50% | 181 |
| #5 | Git | 43% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Riff Raff | 50% | 82 |
| #4 | k0ntrast | 50% | 181 |
| #5 | Git | 43% | 28 |
| #6 | Big con con | 41% | 17 |
| #7 | Buicy Joner | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riff Raff | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | k0ntrast | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Buicy Joner | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | ShiftPeekAwp | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Git | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ShiftPeekAwp | 369 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | k0ntrast | 325 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | Riff Raff | 279 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Husqiy | 91 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Big con con | 88 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Riff Raff | +1.88 | 75 | 63 |
| #2 | KW | +1.18 | 72 | 62 |
| #3 | k0ntrast | +0.36 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | Husqiy | +0.00 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Git | -1.48 | 75 | 52 |





