










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 147 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Faceit | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2246 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3027 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2310 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2169 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,664,191 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JA4 | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | Valoodja | 66% | 29 |
| #3 | Pygoscelis Antarcticus | 64% | 33 |
| #4 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 63% | 91 |
| #5 | Sn1rkk | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MehineMehis | 8 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Queen Capybara | 8 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Big Oliver | 5 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | p1sm1ce | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ХВАТИТ ПЛАКАТЬ | 276 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Big Oliver | 203 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | MehineMehis | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | flawzy | 143 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Queen Capybara | 131 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Valoodja | +7.89 | 93 | 58 |
| #2 | flawzy | +3.90 | 85 | 43 |
| #3 | Spaxiito | +3.13 | 87 | 55 |
| #4 | Pygoscelis Antarcticus | +2.74 | 78 | 46 |
| #5 | merxu | +2.65 | 77 | 52 |





